Regarding Interviews...

18 October 2005

Some of the better advice I've been given regarding interviews:

"Don't tell the truth!"

"Tell about you achievements, your extracurricular activities e.g. joining scouts."
Well. Those will definitely work if you're a master BS-er or have led an active school life. However, BS can only take you so far. I mean, first interview's basically the department manager or some mid-level manager wanting to get the 'feel' of possible candidates. Them tend to be quite personable people who're friendly if you get off the correct footing from the start. Then...their boss comes in during the second interview. Shit. BS will make them wonder what the interviewers were thinking.

Haiiiz...I'm just getting a bit sien of working through interviews liao. I mean, looking retrospectively I made quite a number of 'interview tactical errors' that were...very stupid lar. Best example would be the most recent interview I went at Jenssen-Cilag regarding their position of 'Local Safety Officer'. As with most interviews, you got quite the number of standard interview questions to guage how dedicated you are to snagging the job.

"How would you think your colleagues would describe you?"

"Err...'weird'."

KNS. This one call don't think before speaking. Doesn't say good things, but rather sounds like liability no matter how you put it. If try to cover up by going about being sooo workaholic until considered weird means putting up high expectations that'll come back and smack you hard once you get the job.

"Where, or how do you picture yourself in 5 years' time?"

"Err...somewhere still as a Safety Officer but in a more senior position...?"

[You know, when I lose sleep becoz of thinking about job prospects, I ask myself this. And when I think 'hospital' I cannot even envision staying there for 3 years.] This job is so new that I also dunno what prospects are there for promotion. I mean, come up with safety guidelines for employees, do drug regulations plus adverse drug reporting...not unless the job scope becomes so diverse that can lagi branch off and become sub-dept head. Saying, "In a more senior position," doesn't sound ambitious, "To be honest, I have no idea where the prospects for this job will allow me to grow," probably makes me sound vague and unfocused, "Heading the safety department?" *mischevious smile*...Hey! Blardi hell should have thought of that! I hate interviews! Stupid questions that take ages to get a nice shiny answer!

"What can you say that will make me choose you over other candidates?"

"...err...ah...well..."

I'll go a bit more over this later when I tell about my PERSONALITY TEST results. Yeah, got comprehensive personality test. The short of it is that I a bit lousy at selling myself.

"What did you feel were your major accomplishments in your previous working places?"

"..."

This one...no help lar. Pharmacist lar, both retail and houseman. What to expect? Whatmore, housemanship in teaching hospital with SOPs. Surely don't expect me to go, "No! I refuse to follow these protocols which has already been set down to ensure the safety and efficiency of patients and employees!" I wasn't employed to do that what then. [Just like how Asians are brought up yar? Listen to your elders, don't think for yourself.] I mean sure you wanna ask why some protocols were set as they were lar, more ma fan, more work, more paperwork...But I digress. As I was. What kind of OMGWTFBBQ accomplishments am I suppose to achieve in my line of work?

'Effectively compiled inventory of hospital IV medications.' Er, houseman project. Also while it adds to easy references for the IPD it isn't anything major. Few years down the road someone'll update it as part of his/her project.

But then again maybe if I stayed in UH longer as a pegawai farmasi I could have accomplished something as by then would be more familiar with the place than being bewildered in different departments. How about during life in Guardian?

'Rotated employment status from full-time to contractual to part-time locum.' Er. Rolling stone gathers no moss.

'Improved employee morale via implementation of end-day incentive.' Once the interviewers find out that that sentence actually means, "Going to close store that time use own money to buy everyone McD's ice cream," even I dunno what they gonna think.

The fact that Guardian is big and corporate, they oso got they're own guidelines and will fire/taruh anyone that does otherwise. Heesh, not corrective measures until da store fails to live up to expectations.

"You're rather young yeah!"

Wish I could retort "Wait till you meet my parents!" but cannot as that is not true. Haiyoh then why bother putting up the statement, 'Fresh graduates are encouraged to apply'? Not even stated that you wanted someone with years of experience. KNN old dogs can learn new tricks as fast or not?

Ok-lar this thing's gone too blardi long liao. Will take on the issue of personality tests some other time. But experience has taught me something lor:

[Colour]
Don't immediately take the job if it's offered straightaway where they say, "Yeah, there isn't any problems, how soon can you start?"!