The Wryd Speaks!

21 May 2005

Hey, my testimonials says it all. I guess I'd rather be known to be weird rather than a poofta or by any compliments - I've never really been able to accept compliments (nor give them properly).

The nature of my being? I'm quite a red-black more than anything else: I act impulsively and for a selfish motive (hey, don't we all to some extent?), but me mates at least have the willpower to think ahead and curb such behaviour from bumming them in the future. I also enjoy being quite the antisociopathic most of the time, so long as I've got me book at the very least the world can go hang. But I've got good friends to hang about with so there's balance.

I find that everyone else I mix with has some sense of maturity...how'd they ever achieve it? Methinks, "Next year I'll probably mellow down and be more serious about things," but never manage it. Years have gone by now and I have yet to pick up a seriousness for life. I'm just letting it pass by day by day, month by month. My off day? Basically a sleep-in day. Stay up till 5-6am the night before, then wake up around 3pm past. Mill about and do nothing, prob read a book or play a game or summat. Next thing you know it's gone past midnight and I've to prep for work tomorrow.

Steven can say, "Oh man, my day was really productive, because I could do all the things I could not normally do on a working day." But must remember that productive to him could mean getting loads done at that timeframe. 'Productive' doesn't have to mean 'results due to positive work effort'. Hmm.

I guess it's cause I'm still *young*. Hey, I'm in my early 20s! I'm still immortal! There's time for everything! [Note: Bungee jumping also one of Andrew's life goals. We have a partner for this activity here.]

In a few years we're into our late 20s, then early 30s. By then our stock will have gone down. We'll be old.

Then we'll be reaching our 40s. Will be alone be an island. Thus must keep reminding self how I'm a self-proclaimed 'Bachelor-for-Life', much to the catcalls of others, "Yah, those who say they'll be single for their entire life is the first to get married!" Urg. Marraige.

All this, if I don't commit suicide out of pure depression or die somehow.